Finding my way back to you
by TZM001
Summary: When Mike forgets Brandon at school one day, it sets off a series of events that help Stef and Lena find their way back to each other.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I do not own any of Fosters Family characters in the story, all rights belong to ABC Family._

 _Thank you for reading!_

* * *

Brandon sat on the bench dangling his feet with his backpack slung over his back, there was no one else left on the playground, all of his friends had gone home. A little lump formed in his throat as his lonely figure silently watched cars drive past. A tall lean brunette walked up behind Brandon and sat next to him on the bench, resting her hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Brandon, is your dad still not here?" The woman spoke as she rubbed gentle circles on his neck. Brandon sat with his head facing down starring at the ground and shook his head without uttering a word.

"Why don't you come with me and we can go to the office and see if we can't get a hold of your mom."

Brandon jumped from the bench and took hold of the woman's out stretched hand and the two very slowly made their way to the school's main building. Once inside, Brandon took a seat at one of the waiting area chairs in the administrative office, taking his backpack off and placing it beside him. His teacher kneeled down in front of him and lifted his chin.

"I know your sad that your dad hasn't picked you up but don't worry everything is going to be ok, I promise." Tears fell onto Brandon's chubby cheeks. The teacher leaned in to give the little boy a hug, but Brandon just sat quietly in the chair unmoved. She stood up and made her way to the counter and looked through a file behind the reception desk. Having located the information she was searching for, she picked up the phone and dialled a number and waited for the phone to be answered.

"Mrs Foster, this is Mrs Lawrence at Achor Beach, it's 3.13pm and your husband has not been able to collect Brandon from school. Could you please contact me as soon as possible, to let us know who will be collecting Brandon?"

Mrs Lawrence placed the phone down and looked through the file again, and picked up the phone to dial another number.

"Mr Cooper, this is Mrs Lawrence at Anchor Beach, I am unable to get hold of either your daughter or your son in law, we are urgently looking for someone to collect Brandon from school, so if you would be so kind as to please contact me as soon as possible I would appreciate it!"

Mrs Lawrence put the phone down and looked at Brandon, who looked a lonely but stoic figure in the giant chair he was sitting in with his back slumped over and tears dripping from his face. His angelic face had turned hard and emotionless.

"My grandpa is away." Brandon spoke softly, the lump in his throat making it hard to get the words out. He raised his arm and slid is sleeve across his face.

"Is there anyone else we can call?" Mrs Lawrence looked at Brandon sympathetically. Brandon dropped his shoulders, and he shook his head.

Mrs Lawrence took in a deep breath and made her way around the counter to sit next to Brandon. Not a moment after she'd sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around his tiny frame in an effort to comfort him, she heard light footsteps coming from the hall way.

"Hey, what's going?" Lena spoke with concern standing in the door way "Brandon are you ok?"

Brandon sniffled a few times and tried speak but the words catching in his throat.

Lena looked at Mrs. Lawrence, who stood from her seat and walked towards Lena, standing inches from her and speaking in a lowered voice.

"His mother said his father would come and collect him today, but he hasn't showed up. I've tried calling him but it just goes straight to voicemail. I've tried his mother and hers also goes straight to voicemail. I've even tried Stef father, Mr Cooper, and he's not answering either, Brandon says he away."

Lena had spent many hours with Brandon when she and Stef were still friends, and she had grown to adore the little boy. But since she and Stef had stopped speaking she hadn't seen Brandon at all. She looked over at Brandon and sighed deeply before kneeling down in front of him.

"Hey Brandon" She said with a smile warmly at him

Brandon looked up slowly at Lena and without a word fell in to her arms, wrapping his little arms around her neck. Lena squeezed Brandon tight, offering the little boy the comfort and warmth of a familiar face. She rubbed small circles down his back as he sobbed into her shoulders.

"It's ok, it's ok" Lena spoke softly as she held him in her arms.

Lena looked up to Mrs Lawrence, "I'll take care of him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, he can stay with me, it's ok"

"Ok" Mrs Lawrence responded before stretching out her hand to rub Brandon back, before leaving the office. "Bye Brandon"

Brandon didn't respond and continued to cling to Lena for dear life. Lena rubbed his head before pulling herself from his grip. "It's ok, come on, let's go to my office and wait there ok!" Brandon grabbed at Lena, forcing her to pick him up and carry him to her office. She sat him down on the couch. She grabbed tissues from a box she kept on the coffee table and lightly dabbed it across Brandon's chubby cheeks, under his swollen red eyes and around his nose.

She threw the tissue in a bin in the corner of the room and sat back down next to Brandon "Are you hungry?" Lena spoke brushing her hand through his hair. It was 3.30pm and she knew that he would have eaten when he got home and should be hungry.

Brandon shook his head.

"Are you sure, I can order us some pizza?"

Brandon looked at Lena with an expression that suggested that Pizza might actually sound like a good idea, but remained silent. Lena smiled at Brandon. "Ok, well I'm hungry and I'm going to get some pizza." Lena stood from her chair and made her way to her desk, she picked up the phone and dialled a number, she smiled at Brandon as she waited for the phone to be answered.

"Hi, I would like to order a pizza to be delivered please."

"I would like, can you hold on for a minute, please..." Lena paused and looked at Brandon. She put her hand over the phone and stretched her neck out towards Brandon. "Pepperoni is your favourite right?"

Brandon nodded his head in reply.

"Can I order one large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese please...yes, can you deliver to Achor Beach Charter School on Colerain drive?...Great thank you!" Lena had spent enough time with Stef and Brandon to know that Brandon's favourite pizza was pepperoni with extra cheese. Lena put the phone down and made her way back around to where Brandon was sitting. Do you have any homework? Brandon nodded his head "I have reading and spelling." He replied softly

"Can I help you with your reading and spelling?" Lena smiled at Brandon

By the time the pizza had arrived, Lena and Brandon had finished his reading and spelling homework. Brandon seemed to have relaxed and even let his vibrant personality break through the disappointment and sadness he had been feeling earlier in the day. He and Lena sat on the couch pizza in hand chatting about Brandon's music lessons.

"Why don't you come to see me and mom anymore?" Brandon spoke after a long pause, catching Lena by surprise. "Are you made at us?" he continued.

"No" Lena spoke immediately "Why would you think that?"

Brandon shrugged his shoulders, "You used to come to our house all the time, and now you don't come any more." Brandon took another bite from his slice of pizza

Lena placed her pizza on her plate. She hadn't considered how the change in her relationship with Stef might have imprinted on Brandon. To Brandon it must have been terribly confusing, one minute she and Stef were inseparable friends and over night they stopped speaking.

"You haven't done anything wrong B, your mom and I are...just taking a break to figure things out."

"Why? Are you made at my mom?"

Lena's heart swelled and ached all at once. She had worked incredibly hard to not think about her situation with Stef, throwing herself into her work, the thought of their situation was overwhelming. Thinking about Stef hurt, there was no other way to put it other than to say it was painful; it caused a searing pain at the bottom of her chest and made her shoulders feel heavy from the weight of it all. Lena closed her eyes and for a second she reflected on just how hard it was not seeing Stef, not hearing her voice or being in her presence. Experiences she had become so accustomed to, experiences that brought her so much joy. She opened her eyes and looked at Brandon who starred at her with anticipation.

"No, honey I'm not mad at your mom."

"Then why don't you come to see us anymore?" Brandon looked at Lena confused.

Lena looked at Brandon, look at her, she could see he was looking for something more than an adults attempt to dismisses his concerns, but she didn't know what to say. It wasn't her place to say anything.

"I'm sorry Brandon." Was all Lena could think to say

"I wish we could see you more, like we used to." Brandon spoke sheepishly, looking down at his plate.

"I miss you too honey." Lena smiled. Brandon's eyes lit up. Lena placed her hand over his cheek and cupped his cute face in her hands.

* * *

Stef walked back into the station, lifting her bullet proof vest over her shoulders as she approached her desk.

"Thanks for having my back out there Foster" Andrew spoke as he walked past Stef's desk

Stef spun her head around, "No problem, just glad I was there"

"You got plans tonight?" Andrew watched as Stef hung her vest over her chair.

"Nah, Mike's got Brandon tonight so I'm hanging out on my own." Stef replied pulling her cell-phone out of the draw and pressing the on button.

"Yeah, how's things with you and Mike?"

Stef took in a deep breath; as she looked at her phone register all of her messages. "We're working on it, you know, marriage."

"Yeah, tell me about it, marriage isn't for the faint hearted."

Stef let out a stifled laugh

"You good for drink, I'm buying." Andrew enquired walking over to Stef's desk

"Aaahhh..." Stef hesitated as she looked at the missed call on her phone, it was from Anchor beach. Her forehead scrunched forcing a puzzled yet concerned look on her face. Why was the school phoning her she thought? "Just a sec" Stef replied lifting her finger at Andrew to stop him from talking, she put the phone to her ear to listen to the message.

Within in seconds Stef's eyes shot open, she turned her wrist to look at her watch. "Oh my God!" she gasped in disbelief. She very quickly ended the call and scrolled through her address book and dialled a number.

" _Hi, you have reached Anchor Beach Charter School; unfortunately there is no one available to take your call right now. Our office hours are 8am to 5pm. Please kindly leave a message and we well get back to you within 24 hours. Thank you and have a good day."_ The perky voice in the recording made Stef even more distressed.

Stef hung up the phone. Her heart began to race and her head began to spin. She immediately began to dial another number and anxiously waited for the phone to be answered.

" _Hi, you've reached Mike Foster, leave a message."_

"Foster, are you ok?" Andrew reacted to Stef sudden changed in energy. Stef didn't respond. She hung up the phone and dialled the number again, her anxiety getting the better of her. She placed her sweaty palms over her forehead, and tried very hard to calm her breathing as she tapped her foot on the ground and shook her body as she anxiously waited for the phone to be answered.

" _Hi, you've reached Mike Foster, leave a message."_

"Oh my god, oh my god" Stef muttered to herself, as she hung up the phone

Stef frantically searched for her keys on her desk, and pulled her bag from her draw before dashing for the door without responding to Andrew. Stef's was in a state driving to Anchor Beach. She desperately wanted to believe that the school wouldn't just abandon her son, but as she looked at her watch on the dashboard, that read 5.52pm, she began to imagine the worst. What had happened to her son, Mike was meant to pick him up at 2pm after piano. Where in the world was her son, where in the world was Mike for Christ sake!

Stef brought the car to a screeching halt and placed into to park. She didn't bother to take the keys out of the ignition as she jumped out and ran towards the main building. The corridors that were normally filled with childhood chatter and banter were eerily silent as the she ran through the building towards the administrative office. She saw the light on in Lena's office and headed straight towards it.

Lena and Brandon had found themselves a board game and were fully and completely engrossed, unaware of the time.

"Oh, no way that's not fear!" Lena protested profusely.

Brandon laughed hard, at her response.

"Come hear you little genius you!" Lena teased, stretching her arms in the air to grab Brandon around the waist and proceeded to tickle him.

"You left yourself wide open" Brandon defended, followed by fits of laughter as he wriggled around in an attempt to evade Lena's wild fingers making their way through his body.

"Brandon honey" an erratic voice emerged at the door out of breath.

Both Brandon and Lena looked towards the door as soon as they heard Stef's voice.

"Hi mom" Brandon responded in joys exhaustion.

Stef stopped dead in her track at the sight of Lena and Brandon in full laughter. A deep and wrought sigh of relief escaped from her body, and she walked towards the table where Lena and Brandon were seated and fell to her knees, arms stretched out. Lena released Brandon from her grip and let him fall into his mother's arms. Stef clasped Brandon into a tight embrace and let her body sink into his small frame. She wrapped her hand around his tiny head and placed a series of hard kisses on his neck and across his face.

"Hey honey, are you ok?" Stef pulled him from her body and looked into his eyes.

Brandon nodded his head, "Lena and I were playing treasure hunt." He turned to look at the game laid out on the table.

"You were." Stef unsuccessfully tried to hide the fear in her voice, pulling him back into her embrace.

"Look mom, I just took all of Lena's gold." Brandon pulled himself from his mothers embrace, unconcerned at her flustered state. Stef let Brandon walk to the table and lift a bag full of pirate gold in the air. She looked up at Lena, relief and gratitude filling her eyes immediately. Stef stood from the floor.

"Thank you" Stef breathed out

"It's ok, he's fine." Lena smiled back, in an effort to ease Stef's fears.

"B, honey, why don't you get your bag so I can take you home" Stef looked down at Brandon before walking off to the side. Lena followed Stef towards her desk, as Brandon packed his books back into his bag.

"We were on a drug bust, I left my phone in the office and when I got back and heard the message from Mrs Lawrence I came immediately..."

"He's fine." Lena looked at Stef sympathetically.

"Mrs Lawrence's message said she couldn't get hold of Mike..."

"Yeah, he didn't pitch, Mrs Lawrence said she tried calling your father but Brandon told her he was out of town. So I offered to wait with him so she could get home to her kids"

Guilt ran through Stef like a wave of electricity searing through her body.

"My dad is on a fishing trip with some friends." Stef spoke defensively. "I thought Mike was picking him up!" Stef continued, disbelief filling her voice.

"Stef It's ok, I was going to work late in the office anyway, Brandon kept me company. It's ok"

Stef took a deep breath in and dropped her head.

"I ordered pizza, I hope that's ok; and we've done homework, reading and spelling." Lena extended her arms to rub Stef's shoulder in attempt to reassure her that everything really was ok.

"Mom" Brandon piped up, standing next to Stef with backpack in hand.

"Yes baby" Stef looked over at Brandon.

"Can Lena come for dinner tomorrow, like she used to?"

Stef scrunched her forehead and looked up at Lena. Lena's eyes shot open in embarrassment. She knelt down stretching her arms out towards Brandon pulling him towards her.

"Brandon, I can't come to dinner tomorrow." Lena replied. Brandon immediately dropped his face in disappointment "Buuut, you can come and visit me in my office at school anytime you want." Brandon looked up at Lena. "Even at lunch?" he asked enthusiastically. "Even at Lunch." Lena responded, brushing her hand through his hair. Lena's response seemed to satisfy Brandon who smiled back at her.

Stef's heart swelled at the scene playing out in front of her. She silently watched Lena stand up to face her. Lena locked eyes with Stef and for a moment time stood still. The space between them filled with all of the things both of them wished they could say but felt they couldn't or just didn't know how to say. Their hearts pounded silently inside their chest, both of them longing for the other aching to connect in ways they had become accustomed to before the world got so complicated. Stef's chin quivered just a little, as she tried to contain her desperate need to reach out to Lena and pull Lena into her arms. So instead she extended her arm and took Lena's hand in hers.

"Thank you!" Stef squeezed Lena's hand tightly in hers, in an attempt to express her gratitude and appreciation.

"You're welcome" Lena smiled and squeezed back before letting go. Both felt the loss of contact immediately

Stef looked down at Brandon to see him watch their exchange. "Let's get you home my love. Say thank you to Lena."

"Thanks Lena." Brandon wrapped his arms around Lena's thin legs. Lena bent back down and gave Brandon a hug. She stood back up and looked up at Stef and smiled. "Bye" the word was almost inaudible, but screamed of vulnerability.

"Bye" Stef whispered back softly. She looked back down at Brandon and grabbed his back pack from his hands and ushered him out the office.

Lena made her way back to her desk and sat herself down slowly, leaning back into her chair and letting out a long and exhausted breath as she ran her hands through her hair.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this story, an even bigger thank you to everyone that has taken the time to post a review. I read every review, take your notes and am encouraged by your support. Thank you!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I do not own any of Fosters Family characters in the story, all rights belong to ABC Family._

 _Thank you for reading!_

* * *

Lena walked through the quite passages of Anchor Beach, her footsteps echoing through the halls. She held a stack of files in one hand and her handbag in the other. She internally cursed herself for not pulling her car keys from her handbag before leaving the office. Tucking the files under her arm, she tried digging through her bag for her car keys. She stopped at the door and released a deep breath of air and smiled at herself for managing to yank her keys from the little corner they were tucked in.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?" A loud voice emerged from outside.

Lena raised her head in surprise.

"YOU LEFT MY SON MIKE, YOU LEFT MY SON AT SCHOOL, I CAN'T EVEN..."

Lena opened the door and was greeted to Stef, gesturing with her hands as she stood by the back passenger door of her car, and Mike standing in the parking lot in front of her.

"Stef I'm sorry!" Mike begged, turning his attention to Brandon in the back seat. "B, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!" Mike tried to speak through the window, putting his hand against it in an attempt to connect with his son. Brandon didn't look at his father, he kept his head bowed and turned away from the window.

Stef turned and took a deep breath in an effort to calm herself, pacing up and down in front of the car. "What if Mike, what if something happened to Brandon, then what?"

"He..ah..he was at school, this is a safe school Stef...you said that yourself, that's why we sent him here." Mike tried to defend

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT..." Stef screamed back in disbelief, shoving her finger into Mike's chest and turning her head running her hand through her hair. "You had no idea Mike, no idea who was looking after our son, what he was doing, or if he was even ok!" Stef paced aggressively. "I...I can't believe you, I cannot believe you would leave our son at school!"

"Stef I'm sorry I...I don't know what else to say!" Mike tried but Stef turned and made her way to the drivers' door, opened it but turned suddenly to look at Mike.

"Just tell me one thing, where the hell where you?"

Mike stuttered "Um...ah...I was..."

"You're unbelievable!" Stef turned and got into the driver's seat and slammed the door shut. She reversed the car out the parking lot and drove off, leaving Mike standing alone with the flood light shining directly at him. He ran his hand through his hair, dropped his shoulders and slowly made his way into his car and drove off.

Lena stood by the door with her keys in her hand, stunned at the scene she had just witnessed. She slowly made her way to the car and made her way home.

* * *

Lena sat at her dining room table, files spread out and laptop open in front of her, a glass of wine to her right and a plate of cheese she thought she would nibble on while she worked but very quickly discovered she didn't have much of an appetite. As focused as she was on getting through the proposal she had planned for the evening she couldn't help but let her mind wonder to the encounter between Stef and Mike in the parking lot. It wasn't that long ago that she would not have hesitated to call Stef, after what she had witnessed that evening, to make sure she was ok; in fact she would probably ended up at Stef's place so they could talk, and talking mainly consisted of Stef venting about her frustration about Mike and Lena listening. Lena looked over at her phone for a second, she seriously considered picking it up and making the phone call, all she wanted to do was to make sure Stef was ok. Seeing Stef distressed sat heavily on her heart. However Stef had not been taking her calls or responding to her texts, so she just sat and looked at her phone. The frustration of not being able to do anything or say anything to support Stef was eating away at her. She got up from her chair and went into her bedroom, when she remerged an hour later she was wrapped in a bath robe and her hair had been tied up into a ponytail. She walked over to the table and poured herself another glass of wine, the light flickering on her phone caught her eye. She picked the phone up and checked the message, it was from Stef.

' _Thank you again for looking after Brandon today, I am truly grateful for what you did.'_

Lena filled her chest with air and closed her eyes, maybe all hope wasn't lost. This was the first time Stef had actively engaged with her. She opened her eyes and responded to the text.

' _There is no need to thank me, I'm glad I was able to be there for you and Brandon.'_

Lena looked at the text, she thought for a moment and started typing again.

' _There is no need to thank me, I'm glad I was able to be there for you and Brandon. I still consider you my friend and I am here for you whenever you need.'_

Lena looked at the text again; hesitant she scratched her forehead and thought about deleting the last part of that sentence. Recent events had shaken her confidence. She stood in the room anxiously weighing in her mind weather this was the right response or even the appropriate response given what had happened between them. After a long pause she burst out laughing, this was silly she was a grown woman behaving like a school girl. She pressed the send button and walked over to the table, sat down and switched her laptop on. It wasn't long before the phone beeped again. She picked it up and read the message.

' _Thank you._ _'_

Lena smiled.

* * *

Stef sat in the boardroom waiting patiently; the room was the same peach colour she saw when walking through the corridors. It wasn't a very big room, eight chairs were arranged around a table, it had a screen, a projector and a side table lined with coffee cups. Stef reached out in front of her and grabbed the glass of water she had been offered on arrival; she took a sip and placed it back on the coaster.

"Mrs Foster, I am so sorry to have kept you waiting." The voice spoke from behind Stef. Stef turned to face the woman and was surprised when she was greeted by both Mrs Sanchez and Lena. When the school phoned and requested a meeting between Stef and the principal the thought that Lena might attend the meeting didn't cross her mind.

"I haven't been waiting long." Stef replied, looking at Lena

Sanchez stretched out her arm to shake Stef's hand. "And you know our Assistant Vice Principal Ms Adams?"

"Ah yes, of course." Stef muttered out, turning towards Lena and reaching over to shake Lena's hand. Lena didn't think the formality was required and was caught off guard when Stef extended her hand. She graciously took Stef's hand in hers. Their eyes connected in a way that only two people who knew each other intimately could. Stef's face flushed as she looked at Lena, her eyes immediately hit the floor as a wave of unexpected emotions cursed through her body. When she had collected Brandon from Lena's office the other day, she was just so relieved that Brandon was ok and unharmed that she didn't stop to reflect on the fact that she hadn't seen Lena since the night at her house. Her focus in that moment had been singular; making sure Brandon was unharmed and safe at home. If Stef was being truly honest with herself, she was incredibly relieved that Brandon had ended up with Lena, someone he knew and was comfortable with, she had been so happy to see Lena with Brandon nothing else seemed to matter. But seeing Lena now brought forth memories of that night and everything that had occurred. Stef very quickly became self conscious and that night consumed her thoughts, the guilt hit her like a wave from the ocean. Every single muscle in her body tensed up, the temperature in the room began to change and all of a sudden she was finding it hard to breath.

Lena saw the change in Stef's body language, which unsettled her deeply. She had hoped that after their meeting the other day and the text exchange would have eased tensions between them but seeing Stef's reaction to her caught her off guard. She didn't know how to read Stef in that moment was she just unnerved by the meeting or was she unhappy to see her.

Sanchez remained completely oblivious to the energy exchange between the two women as they all made their way to the table and sat down. Sanchez took a seat opposite Stef; Lena sat next to Sanchez.

"Mrs Foster, will your husband be joining us?"

"Aahh, no, he couldn't make it."

"Ok shall we begin?" Sanchez didn't bother waiting for a response and barrelled right in. "Mrs Foster, we've asked you in today to discuss what happened with Brandon the other day. We are obviously very concerned that Brandon was not collected as was arranged, and we wanted to make sure that both you and he are doing ok?"

"We" Stef repeated, looking at Lena eyes wide in utter disbelief. Lena immediately felt the accusation in Stef's eyes and dropped her head. Stef straightened her shoulders and looked Sanchez dead in the eye. "Brandon and I are fine thank you; I really don't think there is cause for concern."

Sanchez leaned into the table "Mrs Foster, some of Brandon's teachers have raised concerns with us that Brandon has been...withdrawn in class and...not his normal self. Then off course when something like the other day occur it raises alarm bells for us."

Stef hadn't noticed anything unusual about Brandon lately, yes he was upset about the other day but that was to be expected but if there was something seriously wrong with her son she would know about it. "Brandon is fine, I don't know what your teachers have told you Mrs Sanchez, but I know my son and he's doing just fine."

"So you haven't noticed any unusual behaviour from Brandon, he hasn't seemed withdrawn to you at all?" Sanchez looked at Stef encouraging her to think back.

"No, I haven't!" Stef defended

Sanchez nodded her head. "Have there been any drastic changes in Brandon's environment that may be affecting him?"

Stef turned to look at Lena again; Lena sighed deeply and looked at Stef with remorse.

Stef adjusted her position in her chair. "Aahh..." She hesitated and closed her eyes to gather herself. "Brandon's father and I...separated a few months ago and that has been tough on Brandon." Stef reopened her eyes. "But I have been speaking to Brandon and checking in on him, it's been an adjustment but he's doing well considering the change."

Sanchez leaned back in her chair in an almost self congratulatory manor. "I see, well sometimes kids hide their emotions from their parents in an effort to try and protect them. But I want you to know that we at Anchor Beach are here to support you in any way that you or Brandon may need." Sanchez's tone became very sympathetic.

"Thank you, but like I said Brandon and I are fine. What happened the other day was an isolated event and it won't ever happen again."

"Ok. If there is anything we can do, please don't hesitate to let us know."

"Thank you." Stef tried to be polite but inside her blood was ready to explode.

"Well that's all from me. Ms Adams, do you have anything you would like to add?" Sanchez turned to look at Lena.

"No...no, nothing from me." Lena stumbled, feeling Stef's harsh glare.

"Mrs. Foster, is there anything from your side?

"No thank you!" Stef's voice was cold and harsh.

"Ok. Well if that is all then I think we are done."

They all stood up. "Mrs Foster, thank you very much for coming into meet us."

"Of course" Stef extended her hand.

Sanchez made her way to the door. "It was good to see you again Mrs Foster."

"And you Mrs Sanchez" Stef replied.

Sanchez exited the room leaving Lena behind. Lena stepped towards Stef.

"I'm so sorry about that, I had no idea that was going to happen." Lena looked at Stef.

"I trusted you." Stef body language was unwelcoming. "What the hell was that, Lena?" the anger in Stef's voice was biting.

"I'm sorry Stef I honestly didn't know..." Stef wasn't listening; she was caught up in her own emotions to pay attention to what Lena was trying to tell her. "You had no right to share personal details about my life or my family with anyone Lena."

Lena pulled Stef's arm to close the gap between them and looked her directly in the eye. "Sanchez ambushed me in the corridor, I didn't know a thing about this meeting, she asked me to come with her to a meeting with a parent, I had no idea you were the parent or that this was about Brandon." Their eyes locked into each other, the tension between them palpable.

"So all of this was what?"

"I don't know what it was from Sanchez, but I had nothing to do with it!" Lena slid her hand from Stef's wrist to her palm and griped her hand. "You know me Stef, I would never, I could never."

Stef starred into Lena's brown orbs, searching for something, for anything she could believe in. "How do I believe that Lena, how can I trust you after what happened?"

"Because you know me Stef, you know me better than anyone has ever known me." Lena looked directly into Stef's eyes, determination all over her face.

They stood in the middle of the room; Lena squeezed Stef's hand in an attempt to reassure her of her honesty. The silence that fell on the room echoed through every corner of the room, bouncing back and forth, screaming to be heard. Their eyes softened on each other.

"Stef I am sorry about what happened between us, it was not my intention to deceive you..."

The door swung open unexpectedly and a young looking woman stood at the threshold. Stef and Lena stepped away from each other. "I'm sorry Ms Adams but your 10.30 meeting is waiting for you in your office."

"Tell her I'll be there in a minute, thanks Carin" Lena responded. Carin nodded in Lena's direction before taking a step backwards and closing the door.

Lena turned to look back at Stef. "I have to go but can we maybe get together and talk...please!"

Stef filled her lungs to the brim and closed her eyes. Her stomach turned with conflicting emotions. In a very short space of time Lena had become such an important part of life, such that Stef doesn't quite know how her life even made sense before Lena was in it. Stef had shared parts of herself with Lena she had never shared with another human being ever before, parts of her she didn't know existed before Lena came into her existence. So to have this distance between them felt unnatural and alien to her. She felt anchorless, drifting at sea with no direction, everything looked the same, and nothing felt like it should. But...but, she was angry, she was hurt, she thought they shared something special, something unique – she had trusted Lena unconditionally. So when that trust was broken she was broken, shattered, this woman who had become the rock in her life had let her down in a way that gutted her. But in the midst of all of that, in the midst of all of those emotions she felt embarrassed and ashamed at her own behaviour. She wasn't that person; she didn't want to be that person. Stef's emotions overpowered her, unsure for what to do or how to respond.

"Stef" Lena tried to push for a response.

"Ok" Stef spoke, her heart pounding in her stomach. She reopened her eyes and a gentle smile broke on Lena's face "Ok, maybe we can meet for dinner?"

"Ok" Every inch of Stef wanted to say no, but Lena had magnetism about her that Stef couldn't deny.

"Ok, I'll text you." Lena looked at Stef, whose face was withdrawn and distressed.

"Ok" was all Stef could muster

Lena reached for the door handle "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" Stef ran her hand through her hair

"Ok" Lena responded softly. This was progress; for so long they were stagnant, in no man's land, but this was a step forward, a step in the right direction.

Lena opened the door, both women exited the room and stood in the corridor, they exchanged goodbyes and walked off in opposite directions and despite the distance between them, they were closer than they had been since that night.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this story, an even bigger thank you to everyone that has taken the time to post a review. I read every review, take your notes and am encouraged by your support. Thank you!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I do not own any of Fosters Family characters in the story, all rights belong to ABC Family._

 _Thank you for reading!_

* * *

The clear blue water was unsettled by fingers breaking the surface, sweeping past tiny ears and then tucked back into the water. Deep gasps of air where silenced by the reverberating splashes of water as legs kicked at a mile a minute. Chlorine pungently floated through the air.

"That's it guys, remember to stretch your arms over your ears. Good job Preston." The instructor walked by the edge of the swimming pool, matching the pace of the little bodies in the pool as they desperately kicked their way from one side to the other.

Stef sat fourth row from the bottom of the bleachers, her eyes were focused on the children in the pool, watching Brandon in his blue Speedo and black cap, but her mind was lost a million miles away replaying in her head a night she was desperately trying hard to forget but somehow couldn't seem to stop thinking about.

"Stef" A voice came from the distance. Stef brought herself back to the present and lifted her head to see her friend Melanie take large strides up the bleachers towards her. Of all the parents in Brandon's class Melanie was probably the one that Stef had made a connection with, maybe it was because she wasn't like any of the other moms. She was a defence lawyer for a well know legal firm and her husband worked for their local congressman. They had bonded over the short comings of the judicial system and the joy they got from running out their frustration. Right now, other than some of her friends at the station, Melanie Whitman was the only friend Stef had at Brandon's school.

"Hey" Stef replied back unenthusiastically, straightening her back and lifting her elbows from her knees.

"Did I miss anything; I had a deposition that ran late." Melanie spoke slightly out of breath taking a seat next to Stef.

"No they've only just started. They spent 10mins doing warm ups, which was more exciting than this." Stef voice was sombre and despondent, her face withdrawn.

Melanie looked over at Stef and saw the solemn withdrawn exhaustion on her face. "I'm sorry would you prefer to sit alone?"

"No, not at all, I'd really love the company." Stef tried hard to pepper the enthusiasm in her voice.

Melanie looked at Stef as she settled herself down, pulling a water bottle from her purse and pointing it in Stef's direction as an offering. "No I'm good thank you." Stef politely declined. Melanie opened the bottle and took a sip.

"Is it work?" Melanie looked over at Stef

"Hmmm" Stef replied half heartedly

"Is it work that is weighing so heavily on you?" Melanie clarified, putting the bottle of water down between her feet.

"No, work is good." Stef kept her eyes on the kids in the swimming pool

"So it's personal?" Melanie pushed further

"Yeah, life has this strange way of making itself complicated." Stef snarked

"Is it life or people who make it complicated?"

Stef chuckled at the comment "People living life!?"

Stef sat quietly for a moment, starring in front of her. "Remember when life was so much simpler, and your biggest problem had been the swimming coach busting your chops at practice."

Melanie laughed. "And what mom was cooking for dinner that night."

Stef smiled "Now...now it's..."

"Complicated" Melanie finished off, educing laughter from both women.

"Whatever it is that is weighing heavy on heart Stef...this too shall pass."

Stef smiled but didn't respond, her insides continued to roll around her body causing her anxiety to grow. Both women sat silently watching their kids splash around in the water. Stef was drawn back into that deep dark place she had been before Melanie had arrived, the thoughts circled around her brain. 'Why' was the only question that kept rearing its fin above the surface of the water? 'Why would she not tell me, why would she keep something like this from me? I made a fool out of myself; she let me make a fool of myself.' The thoughts circled round and round in her mind, like a shark circling its prey. The more she thought about it the angrier she got. Stef doesn't know when her heart started beating so fast but without warning she found it hard to breath, she felt as though she was drowning in a whirlpool, sucked down a drain, and as hard as she fought to stay above water she kept being sucked further down. Without realising she gasped for air. Melanie flicked her head to the side to see Stef cough violently.

"Are you ok?" Concern filling Melanie's voice as she stretched out her arm to rub Stef back. Stef woke from her hypnotic daze and in a strained voice responded "I'm fine thank you."

Melanie reached into her bag and pulled out another bottle of water and opened it before handing it over to Stef, who took a sip. "Take deep breathes in through your nose and out your mouth, it will help." Melanie advised as she continued to rub gentle circles down Stef's back until Stef's breathing slowed and her shoulders relaxed.

Stef took another sip of water. "Thank you" She managed to get the words out this time. Stef looked up to see the concern on Melanie's face.

"I'm sorry. I have to meet someone tonight and I'm dreading it." Stef volunteered, feeling the need to explain her sudden outburst.

"Who in the world could have you this anxious about a meeting?" Melanie looked puzzled by the prospect.

"It's not so much who but rather what happened." Stef sat up

"Forgive me if I am prying but what happened that has you so stressed out?" Melanie turned her body to face Stef giving her full attention.

Stef thought very carefully for a moment, choosing her words wisely. "We...we had an argument, this person and I, a falling out."

"Where the two of you very close?"

Stef looked at Melanie, whose eyes were concentrated on Stef "I thought we were." Melanie remained silent encouraging Stef to continue speaking. "Have you ever met someone and instantly had a connection, almost like you had known each other your entire lives?"

"I think I know what you mean." Melanie responded sympathetically.

"When we met, this person and I, it was just so easy to fall into a friendship, we would talk endlessly to the point where even the silent spaces between us felt like we were still conversing. Time just seemed to stand still when we were together. I shared everything with this person. We shared things with each other...childhood secrets, personal thoughts; heartfelt beliefs...or at least I thought we shared everything with each other.

"This person, they kept something from you?"

"Yeah, they didn't tell me..." Stef stopped and looked back up Melanie, "I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to sound silly I know but I just need you to..." Melanie put her hand over Stef's knee.

"Stef, you can trust that anything you tell me will stay between us and it's not my place to judge you or anyone for anything." Melanie spoke earnestly.

Stef looked at Melanie intensely, using every ounce of her professional training to suss her out before taking in a deep breath and throwing caution to the wind. She ran her hand through her hair and leaned in towards Melanie.

"I thought we had the type of relationship, the kind of friendship where we were honest and open about everything happening in our lives. I spoke about my marriage to Mike and all of my frustrations, my relationship with my father...everything, but she chose not to tell me that she was seeing someone. I know it sounds silly and childish to be upset about something so small but..."

"But she wasn't as open with you about her life as you were with her about yours." Melanie finished

Stef's head shot up and Melanie smiled back at her sympathetically.

"She didn't trust me and I just don't understand why she would keep this from me. And I feel led on; I was led to believe we had something special and important." Stef rustled around trying to release the tension in her muscles

"And that hurt you!" Melanie replied understandingly.

Stef dropped her head, forcing the lump in her throat down. They sat in silence as Stef gathered herself.

"So you haven't seen or spoken to each other since she told you this?"

"No...not about this, I mean we've seen and spoken to each other, just not about this."

"Does she know how you feel?"

Stef signed deeply "I didn't respond well when she told me, I was angry, I was very angry. I don't know what took over me but I said some things that were hurtful and now I regret them...deeply"

Melanie took a minute to process what she had heard. "We've all said things in the heat of the moment that we wish we could take back, it doesn't make us bad people it just makes us human."

"I know. I feel, it's just...I ah, I care..." Stef stumbled

"You care for her?" Melanie looked at Stef with a smile.

"We're friends" Stef immediately felt the need to defend.

"Of course, no one wants to lose a friend, let alone a close one." Melanie took a moment "if you were as close as you say you were then she'll forgive you."

Stef smiled "I just...I don't know."

Melanie looked at Stef and saw the conflicting emotions tracing small lines across her forehead. "Or maybe you still need to forgive her?" Melanie spoke tentatively knowing she may be over stepping. Stef shot her head around and looked at Melanie. "It sounds to me like you feel betrayed, and maybe you need to forgive her before you can repair the relationship." Melanie continued

Stef buried her hands in her face and sucked the air out of the cup she had formed, and then washed them over her face into her hair.

"I just want to know why?" The words tumbled out of Stef's mouth uncontrollably.

"The only way to get an answer to that question is to ask."

Stef looked at Melanie's warm eyes look back at her. "Thank you." she turned to look at the swimming pool

"You're welcome, anytime" Melanie smiled at Stef

They turned their attention back to the kids in the swimming pool and sat silently next to each other, as they let the cement dry on the brick they had just added to their friendship.

* * *

Lena sat her desk, laptop open typing away when there was an unexpected knock on the door.

"It's open"

The door swung open and low and behold there stood her graduate school friend Alex Vincent. Lena had not seen Alex in almost 5 years, they had spoken on the phone and corresponded via e-mail but it had been a long time since they had been in the same room together. After grad school Lena had pursued a career in education while Alex turned to the private sector.

"Alex!" Lena sang and leaped from her chair at the sight of the tall athletically built woman standing at her door.

"I heard a friend of mine was the Vice Principal of this very prestigious charter school." Alex stepped into the room, arms stretched out.

The two women wrapped themselves in a tight embrace that was 5 years overdue. "It's Assistant Vice Principal" Lena corrected, her face buried in Alex's shoulder.

"Oh I doubt it will stay that way for much longer." Alex retorted.

Lena pulled back from the embrace. "What are you doing here?" elation exuding from her.

"Will you believe me if I told you that I was just in the neighbourhood." Alex feigned innocence

"You live in LA, you're much too far from home to just be in the neighbourhood" Lena raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"I had to fly in unexpectedly for a meeting, which ended much earlier than I had expected so I have a few hours before I fly out again, and I thought what better way to spend the time than to surprise my friend whom I haven't seen in FIVE YEARS!"

"Well I am so incredibly happy that you came" Lena face brimmed with delight.

"I hope this is not a bad time." Alex looked over Lena's shoulder at her laptop.

"Are you kidding me, this is the perfect time. What time is your flight?"

"6pm"

Lena looked at her watch, 3.43pm. "I'm meeting a friend at 7.30."

"I'm sorry I should have called first."

"No no, I was hoping we had time to go to a coffee shop instead of sitting here." Lena turned to face her office.

"It's not your office or the coffee shop I'm here to visit, it's you."

Lena smiled and gestured towards the seat opposite her desk. Alex put her purse down next to the chair and sat down; Lena took a seat next to her.

"How's LA?" Lena was barely able to contain her excitement

"Fully of narcissistic celebrities and rich people willing to spend fortunes of money to have someone try and fix their terrible parenting mistakes. How's San Diego?"

Both women laughed

Like friends who hadn't skipped a beat, the women fell into a familiar and comfortable rhythm. They discussed work and family and even shared a joke or two about their grad school days, reminiscing about class mates and professors. It seemed like only a minute had passed when Lena's phone beeped with a message.

"I'm sorry" Lena looked at Alex with guilt

"No please, go ahead."

Lena stretched over the desk and took hold of her phone, turning it over to read the message.

' _My dad can't take Brandon tonight and I can't find a babysitter at such short notice, do you think we could meet at my house rather, unless you would prefer to reschedule?'_

Lena typed a short message back in reply _'Your house is great. Can I bring anything?_

Lena put the phone down and sat back down in her seat.

"New girlfriend?" Alex teased

Lena laughed "No that was the person I am meant to meet this evening."

"I thought you said it was a friend?"

"She is a friend, or at least I hope she's still a friend." The energy in Lena's body changed significantly which raised her friend's tentacles.

"Did something happen?"

Lena took a moment and smiled nervously at her friend "We had a fight, a falling out"

"Goodness what happened?" Concern in Alex's voice

"I don't know, it was fine one minute and then things got very complicated."

"Who is this person?"

"It's Stef Foster, I think I told you about her" Lena replied

"This is the parent that you became friendly with right?" Alex seemed unsure if she was making the correct link

"Yes, she's the one" Lena confirmed

"What happened, I thought the two of you had become incredibly close?"

Lena hesitated for a moment "We did, but ah...something happened and it changed things."

"Ok well, spill" Alex pushed Lena who was obviously holding back.

Lena smiled at her friend. "I don't know what happened..." Lena crossed her legs. "We had the best time together, we spoke, we laughed until we'd pee, it was amazing. I've never connected with someone in this way before. It was just so easy and natural. I remember the first time we went out for coffee, it literally felt like slipping into silk sheets. The more time we spent together I thought to myself this woman is amazing; she so funny, and energetic...she has the best attitude about life!" Lena spoke with adoration and passion

"Then what changed?"

Lena looked down into her lap "She kissed me."

"Wwait WHAT?" Alex couldn't disguise the shock in her voice

Lena nodded

"Did you guys...?" Alex gestured with her hands alluding to the possibility that Stef and Lena may have taken it much further

"NO! She's married with a 5 years old son" Lena defended exuberantly

"Ok, so she just kissed you out of know where for no reason?" Alex responded sceptically, raising her eyebrow at Lena, knowing there was more to this story than Lena was letting on. "How did the kiss happen?"

"It was Friday night; I was over at her house with her son Brandon..."

"Where was her husband?" Alex interjected

"They are separated, and he lives in a flat across town"

Alex nodded at her head in understanding "Ok, just checking." She teased

Lena gave her friend an unimpressed look. "Anyway, we had dinner, played a board game with Brandon, got Brandon to bed and we were sitting on the coach just chatting about our all time favourite romantic films, I was teasing her because she thought Ghost was incredibly romantic and I never thought of her as a hopeless romantic that would believe in something like ghosts retuning for love..." Lena had a big grin on her face as she spoke "We were just having a really good time. I was trying to keep the evening light, she'd had a tough week at work and had an argument with her husband and I just wanted to help her take her mind off things, help her distress. We'd both had a few glasses of wine..." Lena paused, as she seemed to remember something, her face became melancholy. "I remember she took my hand in hers and we looked at each other for a moment, and the next minute she leaned in and kissed me."

"Did you kiss her back?"

Lena didn't respond and just looked at her friend. Alex knew her friend well enough not to push for an answer. "So the two of you fell out because you kissed each other?"

"Nooo... A few weeks before all of this happened I started seeing someone..." Before Lena could carry on Alex raised her hand in the air

"Ok wait, you're seeing someone, who?"

"It's nothing serious; we've only been on a few dates. A friend of mine introduced us." Lena took a long pause "I hadn't been on a date since Gretchen and I split and I was starting to miss being with someone, and..." Lena squeezed her eyes together creating deep lines in her forehead "...and I started, or at least I thought I was starting to, project my loneliness onto Stef."

"What do you mean?"

"We would have these moments, where...I don't even know how to describe it other than to say I thought my heart would explode just looking at her."

"Ok, intense!"

"I told my friend Jenna and she thought that setting me up would help focus my energy towards someone who was gay and available."

"Good thinking." Alex was practical and knew that getting involved with a married woman was not Lena's style.

"Anyway, I didn't know how to tell Stef, at first I thought there was nothing to tell, it was just one date, but then one date turned into two then three and before I knew it we'd gone out a number of times. I tried to tell Stef but something always stopped me and said wait until you know where this relationship is going."

Alex had a concentrated look on her face as she listened to Lena explain. Lena ran her hands under her hair around her neck. "Stef and I had become so close that I wanted to be sure this was something serious enough that it was worth mentioning. You know how it is, when you introduce a new relationship to your friends, you want to make sure that it's going someone worthwhile and I wanted to make sure that this was someone who I would be comfortable introducing to someone whose opinion I hold in high regard and is really important to me. I wanted to make sure that the timing was right. But then Stef kissed me."

"So what happened when you told Stef about this other woman?" Alex rested her arm on the back of the chair and continued to give Lena her full attention.

Lena closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "I didn't say anything that night she kissed me; I was just so shocked that I left without saying anything, I told her I had to leave and ran out like a scared teenager. I didn't sleep that night; I lay in bed trying to figure out what had happened and why it happened and what to do next." Lena reached out and put her hand on Alex's knee. "You know me, I'm not that type of person, I don't play the field." Lena leaned back into her chair

"Stef tried calling me a few times and I ignored her calls. I just didn't know what to say. I called her up a couple of days later and we arranged to meet, and it was horrible, neither of us knew what to say to each other, it was just uncomfortable and awkward. I asked her why she kissed me, and she said she didn't really know why, it just happened. Eventually I plucked up the courage and told her that she should know that I had started seeing someone and she didn't take it very well. She was upset, very upset!" Lena closed her eyes. "She felt like I deceived and betrayed our relationship, she felt that I should have told her earlier...she said some things and then asked me to leave...and we haven't really spoken since then."

Alex ran her hand through her hair. "Wow"

Silence fell on the room, Alex extended her arm and rubbed Lena's shoulder, Lena returned the gesture with a smile.

"I feel terrible because it was not my intention to deceive her, I understand that she feels I should have valued our relationship enough to tell her sooner but it was because I valued our relationship so much that I didn't say anything." Lena desperately defended

"I don't think you should feel guilty, you had no idea things would play themselves out like they did, and you would have told her eventually right?"

"Of course!" Lena exclaimed

Alex clocked her head to the side "She's not gay is she?" Squinting her eyes at Lena

"No, at least I don't think so...I don't really know"

"Does she know you're gay?"

"Yes, she does"

"Do you think she's maybe gay for you? You know how it can be with straight girls sometimes."

"I don't want to be someone's social experiment." Lena had been there and done that and was exhausted by the prospect.

"So where to from here?"

"I wish I knew; I don't want to lose her." Lena's voice broke for the first time that day.

"You've fallen for her haven't you?"

Lena looked at her friend, her eyes glistened. She let her eyes fall to her lap and as she looked down her eye caught the time. Her eyes shot open "Oh my god its 5.15, you'd better go or you'll miss your flight."

Alex looked at her watch, "Oh my" she gasped.

They stood from her chairs and made their way out of Lena's office towards the parking lot.

"Let's not wait 5 years to do this" Alex spoke as they existed the building.

"Please let's not"

They reached Alex's car and Lena turned to give her friend a hug. "Thank you for stopping by!"

"Tell me how it goes with Stef?"

"I will!" Lena smiled into her friends shoulder.

"Good Luck"

"Thank you. Travel safely!"

Alex made her way into the car and disappeared into the distance as Lena stood in the parking lot. Running her hands down the side of her thighs she turned and made her way back to the office to collect her things and head home to get ready for dinner.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this story, an even bigger thank you to everyone that has taken the time to post a review. I read every review, take your notes and am encouraged by your support. Thank you!_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I do not own any of Fosters Family characters in the story, all rights belong to ABC Family._

 _I apologies for the long wait, between work, studies and a little writers block this chapter was hard to get out, but I hope you will stick with me coz I am still excited about where this story is going._

 _Thank you for reading!_

* * *

Lena stood in front of the brown door, starring at the number 304. She took in a giant breathe of air, held it in for a few seconds then let it seep out her mouth. With her last breath she raised her hand and knocked on the door. She could hear the footsteps hitting the wooden floor as they approached door, the handle moved and the door swung open.

"Hi" Stef exhaled as she stood at the door dishtowel in hand

"Hi" Lena returned melodiously. Their eyes lingered on each other for a moment as they stood on opposite side of the threshold.

"Come on in" Stef moved to the side allowing Lena to make her way into the house. Stef closed the door and turned to face Lena who extended her arm to present a bottle of red wine she held in her hand. "You didn't say whether I could bring anything."

Stef extended her arm to graciously accept the bottle, holding it in both hands and smiling she read the label; it was the one she had fallen in love with, ironically introduced to her by Lena. Stef was momentarily reminded of the wine tasting afternoon Lena had invited Stef to attend with her. She had never been to a wine tasting nor did she know much about good wine, as far as Stef was concerned if it helped take the edge off at the end of a long day it was good enough for her, but that afternoon Lena had introduced her to something new and fascinating about wine, perhaps it was the wine but most likely it was Lena, whichever it was she was a convert.

"It's perfect you didn't have to, but thank you." Stef smiled appreciating just how well Lena knew her.

"Hi Lena." The squeaky voice swung Lena's body around.

"Hey buddy" Lena sang back, lowering her body onto her knee. Brandon walked over to Lena opening his arms and burying Lena's shoulders into his neck. Lena ran her hands up and down Brandons back, taking in his shampoo perfumed hair. Pulling her body back from Brandon's embrace she ran her hand over his forehead and around his cheeks, cupping his jaw. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Brandon responded politely smiling at Lena. "You missed dinner!" his smile quickly turning into a pout

"I'm sorry Brandon." Lena looked up at Stef.

"B honey, you have Preston's birthday party tomorrow so you need to go to bed early tonight."

"I don't want to go to bed early!" Brandon sulked

"You're going to ride horses tomorrow and be a cowboy; cowboys go to bed early"

Brandon's looked at his mother unconvinced with her logic. Lena took her hand and turned his chin "Do you think you could read me a book before bed?" giving him an infectiously giant smile.

"Mom said I could watch a movie tonight."

"She did, can I watch it with you?"

Brandon smile grew at the idea, nodding his head and without uttering a word he grabbed Lena by the hand, forcing her to stand, and led her towards the living room. Lena's tall long frame juxtaposed against Brandons' small build brought a smile to Stef's face. Lena momentarily turned and smiled at Stef who smiled back as she watched them walk away.

As Lena sat with Brandon tucked under her arm watching Johnny Depps' interpretation of Willy Wonka, she looked around at the familiar surroundings of a home she had become so accustomed to. The space was comforting, warm and homely; everything looked exactly the same except it all felt different somehow, it was unnerving and unsettling. It felt strange but really good to be back in Stef's space again. Sometimes you don't recognise the feeling of homesickness until you are reminded of what you had been missing. Lena doesn't know when this began to feel like her second home but something deep within her stirred and the thoughts began to swirl around in her head...this felt like home, when she thought about her future this is what it felt like... Lena ran her hands through her hair. 'Stop it, stop it!' Lena let the words ring repeatedly in her head as she tried to stop the aching yearn in her chest.

When Stef walked into the living room 45mins later she was greeted to Brandon tucked neatly under Lena's arm, his head resting on her chest. And as though they had rehearsed this many times, Lena looked up at Stef and smiled at her. Stef walked over to where they were sitting, and reached out picking Brandon up and slinging him gently over her shoulder. "I poured you a glass of wine." Stef whispered with a smile to Lena. Lena turned off the TV and made her way into the kitchen as Stef carried Brandon to his bedroom and tucked him into bed. When Stef returned Lena was seated at the table wine glass in hand.

"Thanks for that." Stef spoke as she made her way to the stove, not looking at Lena as she walked past.

"Of course. He seems to be doing well." Lena watched as Stef made her way to the simmering pot and opened the lid, stirring once then lifting the pot off the stove.

"He is." Stef turned to look at Lena "He misses you." Stef locked eyes with Lena. The words hung in the air, floating between them.

"I made beef stew." Stef broke the silence. Lena continued to watch as Stef poured the contents of the pot into a serving bowl. The table was laid out with a salad, Italian bread and brown rice.

"It smells incredible" Lena smiled admiring the spread in front of her. "Can I give you a hand?"

"I'm all done." Stef placed the beef stew in the centre of the table. "I'm sorry about today, my dad thought his church conference was next weekend, and then realised that it was actually this weekend and so ..." Stef shook her head, sighed heavily and rolled her eyes in annoyance as she spoke.

"It's ok. How are things between the two of you?" Lena was intimately aware of how difficult Stef's relationship with her father had become since she had made the decision to separate from Mike.

Stef topped up their wine glasses before taking a seat opposite Lena. "We're speaking...trying to anyway...for Brandon. He still thinks I am making a huge mistake. I feel like, he feels I'm giving up too easily, like I should be trying harder."

"Did he say something to you?" Lena accepted the serving spoon from Stef and began dishing herself a plate.

"Not in so many words" Stef sighed and looked at Lena. "He invited Brandon and I for Sunday lunch with friends last weekend and conveniently forgot to mention that he invited Mike."

"Oh no!" Lena watched as Stef dished herself a plate.

"He consistently referred to Mike and I as a couple and proceeded to lead a discussion on how much couples should never give up on working on their marriage; and how children need both parents. Which I thought was rather hypocritical coming from him."

"He's not very subtle is he?"

"No, my father is many things but subtle is certainly not one of them."

An uncomfortable silence befell them as they both tried to manoeuvre their way around the awkward space they had found themselves. Lena looked up at Stef tentatively as they took small bites of food from their plates. "Is everything ok with you and Mike?"

Stef looked up at Lena from over her plate, fork in one hand, and then looked back down to her food, picking at it slowly. "I only ask because I saw the two of you argue in the car park and..." Lena let the words hang in the air.

Stef continued to push her food around on her plate for a moment "I'm sorry you saw that and thank you again for being so kind to Brandon."

"I meant what I said to you the other day Stef; I'm your friend I'm here for you."

"I know" Stef smiled as she looked up at Lena "I don't know what to do with Mike, he's drinking more than ever." Stef scratched her forehead scrunching her face in frustration.

"Does he drink when he has Brandon?"

"No, he would never drink with Brandon around." Stef shook her head hard in protest as she tried desperately to convince herself.

"He's obviously adjusting, just give him time." Lena tried to be sympathetic.

Stef let out a nervous laugh "My life is a train wreck."

"No one's life is perfect, we all go through periods when things are a mess but it works out. You just have to have faith."

Stef gave Lena bemused smile. If there was one thing she had grown to adore it was Lena's ability to see the rainbow at the end of any situation, she truly believed. As a cop Stef had seen the horrors of the world; murder, beatings, drugs, rape, kidnapping, every violent act imaginable; she knew the frightful acts humans where capable of, the type of acts that made you question humanity and wonder if there really was a God in the world that would allow such heinous crimes, but Lena was the complete opposite of everything she knew to be sinister and dark in the harsh police world Stef had lived her entire life. She was that mystic breath of fresh air after an afternoon thundershower in spring that made you believe in the beauty of the world, the sunlight that peaked out from behind the clouds and lit up the sky and warmed your face.

"How are things with you?"

"Are you trying to change the subject?" Lena gave Stef a wry smile

Stef laughed "Busted"

"Things are ok. We have a new addition to the English department, his name it Timothy...and he is causing quite the stir amongst some of our female staff members." Lena smiled.

"Oh really"

"Oh yes and it doesn't help that he's charming too..."

And almost like the day they had met they slipped back into the comfort of the silk sheets that embodied their relationship. Their conversation was easy and flowed effortless like a feather drifting in the wind. Stef loved watching Lena talk about her work and her life, she had such a clear sense of who she was and what she wanted; she spoke with ease and confidence. Like so many times before Stef found herself envious of Lena, she craved that ability to be comfortable in her own skin, know unequivocally who you are. The feeling always seemed to creep up on Stef, a feeling of inadequacy a feeling that left Stef questioning whether she could ever be worthy. Lena was smarter, more sophisticated and beautiful than Stef believed she could ever be; Stef knew she possessed none of the qualities she so desperately admired in Lena. A whiff of Lena's scent floated from the other side of the room, it was deep and richly infused mix of Almond and Coco butter, it fuelled a fire deep at the pit of Stef's pelvis that left her breathless. With every breath Lena's scent filled her nostrils, steaming up every vessel and clouding the lobes in her brain making it hard to concentrate. The feeling left her both scared and enamoured by this woman whom she couldn't stop thinking about, a woman whom she was drawn to in ways that frightened her deeply but also aroused and left her completely confused...to Stef Lena was magnetically inspiring and frighteningly intoxicating.

"...Alex was the one who introduced me to meditation and yoga." Lena smiled as she watched Stef listen to her. A sense of relief and ease washed over Lena as they conversed with each other like old times. Her chest filled as she realised just how much she had missed Stef's wicked sense of humour and quick wit. It amazed Lena just how much joy her heart felt in Stef's presence, how at ease she was; she could be herself in ways she could never be with anyone else. It was like lying in a pile of goose down feathered pillows and fleece blankets, it was warm and soft and comforting in ways that made you want to curl up and wrap yourself into a heavenly sleep. Lena tingled as she caught a glimpse of the passion and desire in Stef's eyes as she looked her, her stomach fluttered like a school girl. Stef's ocean blue eyes where hypnotising on Lena.

Lena was quick to catch the emotions as they cursed through her body; she internally chastised herself for allowing these feelings to creep through the way they did. Stef was a straight and married but more than anything she was going through a horrible separation and a deeply distressful time; she needed a friend more than anything, and Lena wanted to be a friend to Stef. Lena's eyes lingered down to Stef's lips as she watched her talk...

...like a swat squashing a fly, Lena snapped back and refocused.

"...so then what happened?" Stef's eyes spread wide in amusement

"I landed flat on my face." Lena flushed in embarrassment. Lena had never told anyone that story before.

Stef covered her mouth as she burst out laughing "Oh Noooo!"

Lena covered her face with her hands "I was mortified, I just lay there too embarrassed to even move." They both gasped into a reverberating fits of laughter.

They simultaneously let out a satisfied sigh putting an end to the joyous reverberation that filled the room. A silent sheet of reflection floated down from the sky settling neatly over them. Lena held her wine glass with both hands and looked down at the red liquid swirling inside; a small smile crept across her face. "I miss this." She shyly looked up at Stef.

Stef closed her eyes for a second before reopening to catch Lena's nervous smile. The walls around them slowly began to close in; the air became thicker with every breath and the sun began to set on the once brightly lit room. Stef couldn't hold Lena's gaze and looked down at the table in front of her, her heart pounding against her chest plate. They both knew that they would have to speak about it at some point; they could only avoid the elephant for so-long.

"I want us back, I want this back?" Lena continued feeling the need to fill the awkward silence that had begun to build.

Stef rubbed her hand over her eyes. "I keep telling myself if I understood why, then I won't feel this way anymore. It will fix things and then we can go back to the way we were before" Stef confessed, her head bowed down

Lena placed her hand of her chest and leaned in over the table and looked at Stef with a sincerity that scared Stef breathless. "Stef, I feel terrible, it was never my intention to deceive you or make you feel as though I didn't value our relationship."

"I know. I know..." Stef looked at Lena with a nervous grimace. "It's just much easier to be angry at you."

"Why?" the look on Lena's face was a mixture of confusion and surprise.

Stef paused for a moment, embarrassment etching the lines on her face. Reacting to the distress on Stefs' face Lena extended her hand and placed it on Stefs', Stef looked down at Lena's hand on hers, and lifted her thumb and gently brushed it against Lena's palm. Lena's skin was soft against Stefs'. Stef bit her bottom lip and inhaled as deeply as she could. And without even thinking the words floated from her mouth. "I'm scared" Stef breathed out, tears welling in her eyes, her bottom lip quivered with every word and her hand shook in Lena's. The words caught them both by surprise.

"Of what?" Concern filling Lena's face, she squeezed Stef's hand in hers.

Stef continued to look at Lena's hand cupped over hers. Like a dam busting the wave of emotions that had been circling through her body flowed over the banks of the confined compartments Stef has kept them bottled up. Each breath made it harder to breathe. Confliction showered over her; she wanted to let the river of her thoughts run, but she didn't know where to begin or even how; there were too many different emotions running over each other like paint creating new shades and different colours, Stef could barely keep up. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, and let the words take over.

"Of everything...nothing makes sense to me anymore. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I wake up every day and I feel lost!" The words tumbled out of Stef's mouth uncontrollably, her vocal cords crackling and tears streaming down her face

Lena sighed deeply. "Stef!" Her eyes filled with deep compassion, she intertwined her fingers with Stef's squeezing hard. Stef squeezed back, the warmth of Lena's hand bringing her the comfort she was desperately looking for. Lena scoured Stef's face for answers. Stef sat still, her eyes closed.

"I feel like...a failure and a disappointment. I don't know who I am anymore. I hate myself for walking away from my marriage because even though I think I know why I am doing it...I don't. And despite what my dad thinks, I just know that it isn't right. And I can't explain any of it. I've tried to convince myself that Mike is the problem, if he changes then we can make things work, but he isn't, it's me...I'm the problem...there is something wrong with me." Stef covered her face with her hands. Lena stood from her chair and made her way around the table and knelt in front of Stef. She placed her left hand on Stefs' knee and cupped her right hand on Stef's cheek.

"There is nothing wrong with you, you haven't failed. Marriage never works the way we expect it to work, marriage is not easy Stef. That doesn't mean you have done anything wrong, and that definitely doesn't make you a failure. You are an incredible mother..." All Lena wanted to do in that moment was to take away Stef's pain, seeing Stef like this broke her heart.

Stef shook her head; she knew that it was far bigger than just her failed marriage. "Something's changed, I've changed, I feel different...and I am trying to make sense of it all but I just don't know how, I don't know what this is."

Look at me..." Lena cupped both hands around Stef's face lifting her chin so their eyes connected. She used her thumbs to wipe away the tears from Stef's cheeks. "Look at me, life is messy and sometimes it takes time for things to make sense and fall into place, you shouldn't beat yourself up because you don't have all the answers now, just give it time, you will figure this out." Lena smiled to reassure Stef. Stef tried to return the gesture but her muscles betrayed her efforts, her eyes welled again as she pressed her lips together and scrunched her forehead creating deep folds in her forehead. Lena leaned up and placed her forehead against Stefs. "I'm sorry you feel this way, but it will be ok, I know it will." Lena whispered softly. The tears streamed down Stef's face. Lena swiped her thumbs over Stef's cheeks one more time before pulling Stef into a deep embrace, educing Stef into convulsing sobs. Lena's arms around Stef felt soothing, she didn't feel lost anymore, she didn't feel alone and she wasn't scared. Lena let Stef cry, feeling her tears drip down her neck tightened her chest and made her heart ache deeply for this woman whom she cares so deeply for.

Stef pulled her nose from the crock of Lena's neck. "I'm sorry" Stef hissed as she wiped the moisture from Lena's neck.

Lena smiled at Stef and brushed her palm over Stef's jaw. "You're going to be ok, I promise!"

Stef bit down on her lips and swallowed hard. "Thank you" she croaked out. "For everything...for Brandon, for listening."

Lena took both of Stef's hands in hers "Of course, I am here for you whatever you need."

"I am sorry, about what I said to you the other night, I had no right and you didn't deserve any of that...I truly am very sorry!" Stef's face was flush with embarrassment as she looked at Lena.

"Thank you." Lena acknowledged the apology gracefully; she drew in a deep breath of air and let it out with a giant huff. "I just want to put it all behind us, go back to just being us again?" Lena looked at Stef with expectation.

Stef smiled for the first time that night "I'd really love that."

Lena smiled back.

* * *

Stef looked at the watch on her dashboard, 7.42am, as Brandon continued to babble on in the backseat.

"...and then Deadpool took over Spidermans' body!" Brandon exclaimed.

Stef loved the car ride to school, it was one of the very few moments in their busy lives other than bath time that Stef really felt she had the opportunity to really connect with Brandon, but she would be lying to herself if she pretended to enjoy her five year old sons' ramblings about the adventures of Spiderman.

"He did!" Stef faked enthusiasm as she looked into the review mirror to catch Brandon's lively expression. Even though Spiderman didn't enthuse Stef as much as she would like, seeing Brandon happy brought her joy. Stef looked at her right side mirror and switched on the indicator and pulled into the drop off zone. Stef put the car into park and jumped out extending her right arm to open Brandon's door. As Stef helped Brandon secure his backpack onto his back, she caught a glimpse of Lena walking out of the administration's office.

"Bye mom" Brandon spoke unaware of his mothers distractions

"Bye my baby, have a good day." Stef refocused her attention and looked down at Brandon and gave him a kiss on his crown. Stef watched as Brandon made his way into the kindergarten entrance. Brandon turned to wave at his mom before joining his friends. Stef shot Brandon a smile and wink as she waved back. Stef very quickly turned her attention back to Lena and watched her admiringly from a distance, it fascinated Stef how Lena didn't walk; she floated through the air like a swan gliding through a lake.

Lena caught Stef watching her, a bright smile spread across her face and she turned to walk towards her friend.

"Hey" Lena smiled at Stef

"Hi" Stef mimickied Lena's infectious smile. "Fancy running into you here?"

Lena feigned seriousness with a cheeky smile "I work here what's your excuse?"

"Wait, you work here...this is where you..." Stef quipped back playfully.

Lena laughed at Stef's silliness, exposing her perfectly white porcelain teeth and scrunching her nose in that cute way Stef loves so much. "How are you?" There was lightness to Lena's voice, a sense of ease that Stef hadn't heard in a long time.

"I'm good, you?"

"Great." Lena leaned in to give Stef a hug. "I'm seeing you tonight at Jenna's 35th right?"

"Yes" Stef winced and leaned in as those she were confiding in Lena. "I don't know what to get her?"

Lena chuckled "Brown liquor; does the trick with Jenna every time."

"Brown liquor?" Stef looked confused

"Whisky, get her a really good bottle of whisky...she loves whisky."

"Of course, right, brown liquor, I knew that" Stef tried to play it cool.

Lena loved the look on Stef's face as she tried to act like she had all kinds of game. "Bushmills" Lena winked at Stef.

"Ok, Bushmills it is; thanks!"

"You're welcome. We'll talk more tonight?" Lena turned in response to the school bell.

"Yeah, get out of here. I'll see you later." Stef extended her arm and rubbed Lena's shoulder "Have a good day at school. Learn something."

"You're a monkey" Lena smiled back at Stef shaking her head as she walked away.

Stef watched as Lena floated back towards the school building, Lena turned and was both amused and flattered to catch Stef watching her walk away. Stef chuckled at herself, as she turned and swaggered her way back to the car much to Lena's delight.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this story, an even bigger thank you to everyone that has taken the time to post a review. I read every review, take your notes and am encouraged by your support. Thank you!_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I do not own any of Fosters Family characters in the story, all rights belong to ABC Family._

 _I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it._

* * *

"Hey, welcome." Jenna sang as she stood at the threshold of her door looking out into the front yard at her guest walking up the walk way.

"Come on in" she gestured with her hands. "Aaah, thank you so much." She smiled and graciously accepted the gift being presented to her.

"I hope you enjoy it."

Jenna shook the elongated rectangular box and smiled "I'm sure I will. Everyone is in here." Jenna led the way towards the rest of the guests in the living room. The guest list represented a very interesting and colourfully diverse group of people: Tall, short, blond, brunette, red haired, thin and full figured, butch and fem women gathered around the living area engaged in vibrant discussion that created a festive atmosphere. As Stef glanced around the room her eyes were overwhelmed by the medley of characters that filled the space. It was definitely a far cry from the circles she was used to travelling in.

"Lena look at who just arrived." Jenna called as they walked into the living area.

"Hey." Lena turned and immediately smiled at the site of Stef striding into the room behind Jenna.

Stef's breath was taken away by Lena as she turned. She wore a bohemian style blue dress that created the perfect U-shape down the small of her back. The dress twirled through the air as she turned. Her hair created a radiant halo around her face that made it glow. And when Lena smiled at Stef, Stef nearly passed out at the site of the woman.

"Hey, I haven't seen you..." Stef tried to remain as calm and collected as she could as the excitement of seeing Lena cursed through her veins and set her heart on fire.

"...In ages." Lena teased back as she rested her chin on Stef's shoulders. They both burst into tiny giggles as they held each other tightly. Their magnetic energy induced wide eyes from the crowd gathered around them.

"Stef this is Kim and Vickie. K, Vicks this is Stef, I met her through Lena over here."

"Hi. Nice to meet you." Stef politely extended her hand to the other women in the circle.

"Stef is a police officer" Jenna commented in Vickie's direction "Vickie is a paramedic" Jenna turned to Stef.

"Always nice to meet a fellow service woman" Vickie responded

"Likewise" Stef smiled at Vickie.

"Babe" An elegant brunette walked up behind Lena and ran her hand down Lena's back and offered her a glass of wine with the other. Lena accepted the glass, and the woman planted a gentle kiss on Lena's cheek and wrapped her arm round her waist. The air swirled and circled like a tornado sucking the air from Stef's lung. Lena anxiously watched as the blood drained from Stef's face, she knew that look, she's seen that look before.

"Stef you know Amanda right." Jenna commented

"Ah, no, we haven't met yet. Hello" Stef tried desperately to piece together every ounce of composure she had. Amanda was tall, taller than Lena. She had long thick brunette hair that ran all the way down her back, her glasses sat in perfect symmetry with her eyes, nose and mouth. She wore skin tight black pants, a cream white silk blouse over her white tank top, and pointed black boots. The front of the blouse was tucked into her pants and the back was left to flow freely. Her neck and right arm where decorated with a large O shaped gold pendant and bracelet. She exuded an elegant poise that reminded Stef of classic Hollywood.

"Stef hi, I'm so happy to finally meet you. Lena talks about you all the time, I feel like I know you already." Amanda enthusiastically extended her hand in Stef's direction.

Stef shot Lena a look of disbelief that sent shivers down Lena's spine. "Hi" Stef's voice was cold and filled with grit as she slowly extended her arm to shake Amanda's hand.

"I don't know why it has taken Lena this long to introduce us." Amanda continued seemingly unaware of the tension between Stef and Lena

"Neither do I" Stef's eyes went cold and a giant wall rose around her as she worked to mask the hurt she felt watching Lena cuddle up next to this woman who was...so majestically beautiful.

"Stef!" Kelly strode towards the centre of the room where the group had gathered. "How are you?" Kelly leaned in to give Stef a kiss on each cheek

A shaken Stef turned to face Kelly "I'm ok thanks...how are you?"

"I'm great, I'm so happy you could make it. Can I get you a drink?"

"That would be great, thank you"

"What can I get you?"

"A glass of wine?"

"Red or white?"

"Red"

Kelly turned back towards the rear end of the house where they had set up a make shift bar for the evening.

"So Stef, how long have you been a police officer?"

Stef turned to look at Vickie "Just over 6 years now."

"What made you want to be a police officer?" Vickie continued.

"My father is a police officer and has been for 20 years, so I guess it's just in my blood. How about you, what made you decide to become a paramedic?"

"I want to save lives." Vickie face lit up with delight. "There is something about being on the front lines of it all that makes me feel like I'm making a difference, a real difference."

"I know what you mean." Stef tried to smile

"Do you have a girlfriend Stef?" Kim jumped into the ring

"Babe, you barely know the woman!" Vickie scolded

"What! Don't you think she and Jess would be great together? You know that Jess has a thing for blondes in uniform."

"Aahh...I'm ah, not gay. I'm not a, ah..." Stef's heart began to race as she fumbled a response.

Lena could see Stef struggle "Stef's isn't a lesbian; she's married and has a 5 year old son. That's how we met, her son Brandon goes to Anchor Beach." Lena smiled.

Both Vickie and Kim raised their eyes in disbelief "Oh, I'm sorry I just assumed...I guess I read you wrong. My gaydar must be a little off" Kim back tracked

"So you left your husband at home with your son for a girl's night out?" Vickie stepped in.

"Yes...I mean Brandon is with his father but he and I are currently separated...Brandon's father and I are currently separated, I mean."

"Wow that must be really hard, on you and Brandon." Amanda spoke from Lena's side

Stef struggled to make eye contact with Amanda. "It's been an adjustment but we're working through it and doing the best we can." Stef was relieved to see Kelly walk up with a glass of red wine in her hand, which she immediately accepted and took a long sip to calm her nerves.

"Come on now, how about we give Stef a break from the third degree." Jenna chipped in recognising the unsettled look on Stef's face.

"Amanda I heard the ruling on Lawrence v. Texas on the radio today, it's unbelievable that a law like that still even in exists in 2003." Kelly spoke taking her cue from Jenna.

"It's ridiculous I know. And the worst part of it all is that the law has only ever been used to target homosexual couples." Amanda replied

"Amanda is a lawyer for LGBT rights at the Y" Jenny clarified for Stef.

Stef raised the side of her cheeks and eyebrows in acknowledgment as her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. Not only was she beautiful, she was smart too...almost perfect in Stef's eyes. Stef stood silently and listened as the group around her talked about politics, theatre, art and LGBT issues, every once in a while she laughed and smiled and pretended to understand the ebbs and flows of the conversation, and the inside lesbian jokes. She felt like a complete fish out of water. There were a few times when she would glance over at Lena who would give her a warm smile in return, making her heart ache and her stomach yearn. Stef felt a great sigh of relief when Jenna pulled her from the crowd and led her to the bar.

"Are you ok, you don't seem to be having a good time?"

"No, I'm having a great time. I've never...It's all... I ah..." Stef didn't know quite what to say

"You've never been to a party full of Lesbians before have you?"

Stef bowed her head in embarrassment

"It's a lot to take in I understand. Don't worry they are an eclectic mix of people but they are all good people" Jenna winked at Stef as she poured her another glass of wine. "So what do you make of Amanda?" Jenna took Stef by the arm and made her way to the arm chairs on the other end of the room.

Stef took an extra long sip of her wine and swallowed hard "She's beautiful"

"Yes Lena has incredible taste in woman; but look at her, she gorgeous so you can't really expect anything less can you?"

"No you can't" Stef shot a quick look in Lena's direction only to catch a glimpse of Amanda gently graze her hand down the small of Lena's back. The exchange tore Stef in half.

Jenna looked over Stef's shoulder, then back at Stef "Will you excuse me for a second."

"Of course" Stef smiled.

As Stef sat silently watching the group of woman around her she was profoundly struck by how happy they all looked. They all looked genuinely content with their lives, which is something Stef had never considered when she thought about what it must be like to live a life as a gay person. Since that day her father had sent her to see Father John, she had convinced herself that you could never be happy as a gay person, you were destined to struggle your way through life, to be condemned by the world but most importantly you would never be able to live a 'normal life'. But this was a group of Lesbian woman who where all successful in their own right, representing every sphere of the professional world and they were living happy and content 'normal' lives. It was life altering for Stef as she considered that these women were testament to a lie she had been fed her entire life. As the realisation washed over Stef she couldn't help but feel the anger of betrayal rise through her body as she replayed the conversations she had with key figures in her life. What she had been told and led to believe was not the truth and that was a hard reality to swallow.

"Stef!" The voice caught Stef off guard, when she looked up she was greeted to a woman wearing a giant smile across her face. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"Hi, don't be sorry" Stef sat up and tried to make Vickie feel welcome.

"How are you enjoying the party?" Vickie had a sweet and endearing tone in her voice, there was something about her energy that Stef really liked.

"It's great. And you; are you having a good time?"

"Yeah, I think this party could use a few rounds of tequila to liven it up but otherwise great party." Vickie quipped

"hahah, yeah tequila will definitely kick this party into eighth gear."

"You're not a fan of tequila?"

"No, I used to be."

"Used to be, what happened?"

"I got married and had a child...well actually I fell pregnant then got married and had a child...ironically all thanks to tequila."

"Tequila will do that."

Both women laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?"

Stef looked up to see Jenna standing over the two women with a puzzled look on her face.

"I was just saying to Stef we should get some tequila started." Vickie responded

"Ooohh no, no tequila for me." Stef protested immediately

"What you're leaving me to hang out in the cold" Vickie spoke with big eyes.

"I can't I'm sorry, I have my sons swim meet tomorrow morning and I cannot handle being hung-over on tequila."

"Ooohh no, that's not a good idea." Vickie smiled at Stef in acknowledgement. "I guess it's just me then...and you birthday girl." Vickie looked at Jenna with anticipation.

"Lead the way...Stef you don't mind if I steel her for a second do you?"

"No, not at all."

"I'll bring her back in a minute I promise."

"Drink a shot for me." Stef smiled at Jenna.

"You two are going to get a girl in trouble." Jenna shook her head in amusement.

An athletically built woman with short blond hair strode towards Stef as soon as Jenna and Vickie left.

"Hi, my name is Jess"

"Hi" Stef responded politely

"Do you mind?"

No of course not, please. Stef gestured for Jess to take a seat.

"I'm Stef."

"Please to meet your acquaintance." Jess extended her hand and grabbed Stef's and pulled it towards her to give her a gentle peck on the knuckles bowing her head in the process.

Stef couldn't help but blush at the gesture, the exchange left her feeling awkward yet somehow strangely flattered.

On the other side of the room Lena leaned up towards Amanda and whispered in her ear "I'm going to the ladies; I'll be back in a minute." Amanda shot Lena a nod in acknowledgement and continued her conversation.

As Lena walked through the house she caught a glimpse of Stef sitting in the leather brown arm chairs in the corner of the living room. They both sat with their elbows on their knees, leaned into each other. Stef had a giant smile on her face as Jess spoke with animated expressions all over her face. Lena slowed her pace to watch their exchange. Stef looked engrossed by the conversation, she had that focused intense look on her face, the look she wore when she was interested and engaged in the other person, Lena had been at the end of that look on many occasions. As Lena was about the turn the corner her eye caught Jess's hand rest gently on Stef's knee, causing Lena's body to come to a grinding holt. It was only a second, but for that second a volt of electricity shot through Lena's body leaving her feeling rattled and anxious. She waited and watched for Stef's reaction. Stef face looked down at the hand on her knee and then slowly she manoeuvred her body back to the end of the chair. Lena heaved heavily in relief before she turned the corner into the guest toilet.

Lena walked out of the toilet stall and stood in front of the mirror and starred at herself. Denial is a beautiful place to be sometimes; it keeps the world on kilter and makes it a safe place, the only problem with denial is that until you acknowledge it you are not living in your truth. Lena opened the tap and washed her hands before walking back out the door.

Vickie and Jenna stumbled over to where Jess was overtly flirting with Stef, who sat rather uncomfortably unsure how to respond.

"Jess can I steel you for second" Vickie winked over at Jenna, who acknowledged her little shakes of the head.

Jess tried to protest the disruption but was very quickly cut off by Vickie. "I want to introduce you to someone. Stef you don't mind do you?"

"No not at all."

Without a word Vickie grabbed Jess by the arm and dragged her to her feet and pulled her across the room much to Jenna's amusement.

"I see you've got a very, not so secret admirer."

Stef looked over to where Jess and Vickie stood across the room. "She's nice, enthusiastic but nice."

Jenna laughed at Stef attempt to be diplomatic "So should I invite her back?"

"No, no, no...I could do with a break thanks." Stef defended inducing further laughter from Jenna.

Stef turned and looked at Jenna "Would you mind if I asked you something personal?" Stef spoke hesitantly.

"Sure"

"How did you know you were gay?"

Jenna let out a giant huff of air surprised by the seriousness of the question. "I don't know if there was an exact moment when I thought I was gay, it happened over time. I realised that the feelings I was having for woman were stronger than any feelings I ever had for men."

"And what about your family how did they react when you told them that you were gay?"

"Ah well my parents were surprised, of course...and a little disappointed I think, but it didn't take them long to realise that this is who I am and I couldn't change it even if I tried so they came around and now they're super supportive. I think they realised in the end that who I loved didn't matter just as long as I remained the person they raised me to be and I was happy then nothing else mattered. My brother on the other hand was amazing he basically said having a lesbian sister was the coolest thing ever."

Stef smiled at how positive Jenna's story was; easing her nerves and encouraging her to carry on. "Were you afraid to tell them?"

"I was terrified, but it was either that or live a lie for the rest of my life and I just couldn't do that. Pretending everyday to be someone that I wasn't was harder than looking them in the eye and saying 'mom dad I'm gay, I'm a lesbian'." Jenna watched Stef process what she had just heard "Why all the questions?"

"I'm just curious what it must be like to be gay?"

"You make it sound as though it's like being an alien from another planet."

Stef flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you."

"It's fine... I think a lot of the time people get caught up in the detail of it all and sometimes they fail to see that whether you are straight, gay or whatever we're all just humans at the end of the day trying to make it through life with as much dignity, pride and love in our lives as possible."

"So you wouldn't change it if you could? I mean what about everyone else who doesn't understand or thinks that what you are doing is completely wrong?"

"I wouldn't change who I am for the world. I am very proud of who I am. I am hurting no one by being who I am. Stef I get to wake up every day and live in my truth. I have a wife whom I adore, a son that brings me more joy than I could have ever thought possible, what more could I possibly ask for? I would choose this life a thousand times over than live a life where I woke up everyday lying about who I was just so that I can live a life based on what other people thought was the truth. I am happy, and nothing anyone could ever say to me can take that way because to be happy is what we were put on this earth for. I can't believe that whomever or whatever created us would want us to live anything but the life that brought us the greatest amount of joy. And I don't believe you can be happy until you are truly honest with yourself. We can't choose who we love but we can choose how we live, it's not an easy choice but no one ever said life was easy."

The words shook Stef at the very core of her being. They ran circles around her brain and made their way into the depths of her soul.

"Are you ok?" Jenna looked at Stef concerned.

"I'm fine. I just...I was raised to believe there was something wrong with being...you know gay and so it's really interesting and eye opening to me to here a different perspective." Stef tried to keep her game face on as feelings of betrayal, realisation and confusion swirled inside her.

"I think it's great that you are at least open and that's all we ask, is that you be open to the idea that my truth may not be your truth but at least we can co-exist without asking the other to live a lie." Jenna wasn't convinced that Stef was ok, whatever she had said had struck a chord with Stef but she wasn't going to push her buttons.

"Can I get you another drink?"

"Oh it's late and I have to drive but thank you."

"Ok, well I don't have to drive so will you excuse me while I go and top myself up" Jenna waved her empty glass in the air.

"Of course."

As Jenna walked to the bar Stef stood from her seat and made her way outside onto the patio where she found a comfortable seat. She sat starring at the water fountain in front of her. She replayed Jenna's words again in her head. Stef found it hard to make sense of everything she was feeling in that moment but there was something that Jenna had said that had impacted her in the most profound way. It was time for her to be honest, she wasn't really sure what she wanted to be honest about but she knew she didn't want to continue to live a life that wasn't truthful, for her own sanity she needed that more than anything.

Stef looked a solemn figure as she sat outside in front of the Dolphin water feature, the moonlight bounced perfectly off of her golden blond hair, she was clearly lost deep in thought. Lena couldn't but help admire just how stunning Stef looked in that moment...a picture of perfect beauty.

"Hey" Lena ran her hand over Stef's shoulder.

"Hi" Stef turned her body at Lena's touch.

"May I" pointing at the open seat next to Stef

Stef acknowledged the request with a gentle nod.

"I haven't had a chance to speak to you all evening, how are you?"

Stef rolled her head around her neck slowly "I'm ok, how are you?"

"I'm fine. Are you sure your ok, you don't look like your ok."

"Yeah I'm good." Stef tried to lighten the tone in her voice.

"Ok good. Have you had a good time?"

"I have, it's been incredibly interesting and I've enjoyed everyone's company, so yeah it's been a good night."

"I'm glad to hear that, I was worried about you at one stage. You seemed very uncomfortable."

"I did?"

Lena nodded in response

"I was nervous I guess."

"Well you were great, everyone loves you, they think you are charming and endearing."

"They do" Stef sounded surprised

"Oh yes, Vickie thinks you're fantastic and Jess, well Jess thinks you are absolute perfection."

"She is something that Jess isn't she" Stef almost blushed at the compliment. "They all seem like really good people."

"They are." Lena smiled at Stef.

They sat in silence for a moment. The gentle breeze filled the air around them. And without thinking Stef opened her mouth and let the words construct themselves.

"I kissed you because I think you're beautiful."

"What?" Lena turned her head to face Stef

Stef continued to look at the water feature in front of her. She felt a deep sense of calm as she spoke. "I said I didn't know why is kissed you, but I did." Stef turned to look at Lena "I kissed you because I think you are breath takingly beautiful." The fear of god ran through Stef as she realised what she had just said but even in all of that she felt a weight of a thousand stones lift from her shoulders.

Lena looked at Stef like a deer that had just been caught in the headlights of a speeding car but before she could even mentally process what she had just heard and construct a response she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Hey babe"

Lena and Stef turned to see Amanda standing behind them.

"Hey" Lena's face filled with confliction as she looked at Amanda

Amanda squeezed Lena's shoulder as she stood next her. "I'm beat. You ready to go?"

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 _A/N: Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this story, an even bigger thank you to everyone that has taken the time to post a review. I read every review, take your notes and am encouraged by your support. Thank you!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I do not own any of Fosters Family characters in the story, all rights belong to ABC Family._

 _I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it._

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Lena stood over the counter waiting for the kettle to boil; her eyes were transfixed on a single spot on the spotless white counter-top, Stef's words looped like a fairies wheel that wouldn't stop turning, making her feel nauseous and light headed from the constant spin. 'What did she mean she kissed her because she was beautiful, why would she say something like that...did Stef find her attractive?' Lena's heart tingled in delight just long enough to bring a small smile to her face before she squashed the idea like a roach that had stuck its head out just too far. 'Stef is straight, and married with a son!' So what exactly did she mean? It just didn't make any sense!' With every question and every thought her anxiety began to rise. 'Stef was beautiful. No Stef was her friend...' "Hey beautiful"

A sweet and gentle whisper came from behind as warm long strong hands settled on Lena's hips, giving her a gentle squeeze and pulling her into the front of a warm silk wrapped body.

Lena jumped in shock as soon as she felt the hands touch her, bringing her back to reality, forcing her to whip her head around to see the figure cupping itself behind her. "Oh god you scared me." She gasped in relief as she raised her hand over her heart.

"You've been lost in space since we left the party are you OK?" Amanda inquired as she slinkily swung her body around Lena's and positioned herself between Lena and the counter.

Lena gave Amanda a smile that she hoped covered the distressful questions racing through her mind "I'm fine."

Amanda gave Lena a sultry look and leaned in to whisper in her ear "I know something that will help you take your mind off of whatever it is that is keeping you preoccupied." Amanda leaned in further and planted a gentle kiss on Lena's neck. Lena moved her head to the side giving Amanda easier access.

"Oooohhhh, and what might that be?" Lena played along as Amanda slide the shoulder of Lena's pajama top to the side allowing her to run the tip of her tongue over Lena's skin, planting a kiss on the end of Lena's shoulder bone. Lena closed her eyes as she felt the sensation of Amanda's hands slide up her back. The moment her eyes shut Stef's face filled the dark space of her eyelids, her stomach turned and her body cringed. Lena's face contorted, the image forcing her to open her eyes and slowly manoeuvre her body away from Amanda. "I'm sorry, I'm really tired." Her face was full of guilt as she looked at Amanda.

Amanda heaved a sigh of disappointment. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing." Lena defended. She hated lying but right now she had no answers to any of the questions that were circling her head, she certainly wouldn't have any answers for Amanda. "It's been a long day and I need to go into the office tomorrow morning. I'm really sorry."

Amanda gave Lena a look of resignation "OK, you coming to bed?"

Lena felt terrible in that moment as she watched Amanda push herself of the counter she was leaning against. Lena stretched out her arm and rubbed Amanda's bicep. "I'll be there in a minute" She spoke with a half hearted smile.

Amanda gave Lena a nod and made her way back into their bedroom. Lena placed her hands on the counter and let her body weight sink into her wrists pressing her shoulders back easing the knot that had tied neat bow at the tip of her spine; she bowed her head and closed her eyes. Stef face once again lit up the dark spaces between her eyelids. Lena took in a deep breath before pulling herself from the counter. She poured herself a cup of chamomile tea and made her way into her bedroom. When she entered Amanda was already curled up on one side with the bed side lamp switched off. She settled herself under the covers as she watched Amandas' side rise and fall as she lay peacefully.

'What the hell was going on, how did she get here?' Lena knew herself well enough to know she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight with all of these questions circling around, she needed answers, and she needed to understand what Stef meant. So instead of picking up her tea Lena picked up her phone.

" _Hi, do you think we could meet tomorrow?"_

She pressed the send button and put the phone down and leaned her head against the headboard; she rolled her head to the side and looked at her partner lying next to her, she then rolled her head back to the center and closed her eyes.

* * *

Stef opened her eyes and looked around the dimly lit room. Her chair was positioned over a maroon Persian carpet in the center of the room; she sat on an uncomfortable wooden chair her knees bouncing up and down uncontrollably, her hands grinding on her thighs. She looked around the room that was lined wall to wall with historically bound hard cover books; the room had a wet musty woody smell. Stef felt very small in the all encompassing room. The window panes were fitted with a dark blue and red stained glass, letting no light in from the outside. In front of Stef was a large imposing vintage mahogany style desk with long back wooden chair with leather padding in the center. The creaking of the wood caught Stef off guard and sent a lump straight up her throat, the footsteps that followed got louder and louder as they approached the door. Her hands began to shake and her toes curled tightly in her shoes gripping the inside of her soles.

"Stef, Hello" a man spoke in a baritone voice that scared the fear of God in Stef. He was a good looking young man; short cut dark brown hair, medium height and build. He wore grey tweed suit, white shirt and brown shoes.

Stef shrunk into the chair, curling her back and reducing her body into a child like form "Hi" Stef croaked out inaudibly forcing her to clear her throat. "Hi" she tried again this time more successfully.

"How are you today Stef?" The man continued as he made his way to the large desk opposite Stef and put down a large book he had been carrying.

"I'm fine thank you." Again Stef found it hard to speak, her breathing fast and shallow, her chest aching with anxiety.

"Good, I'm happy to hear that." The man walked over to sit next to Stef who sat silently without responding. "Do you know why you are here?" Again Stef didn't say a word.

"Stef your father is concerned about the choices you are making, do you know what I am talking about?" Stef focused her eyes on his shoes, making no eye contact at all. She nodded her head in response to his remark as she choked back the tears.

"Stef your father tells me that you might be having inappropriate feelings...urges and he is very concerned for your well being. He has asked me talk to you in the hopes that I can help you find an alternative path to walk because, and your father and I agree that an alternative lifestyle would not be in your best interest. Stef you are a wonderful young woman in the prime of her life and neither of us would like to see you being influenced or forced to live a lifestyle that is ungodly and sinful."

Stef continued to keep her head bowed, willing herself to disappear, anything to make this stop.

"You know Stef, in times when I am feeling lost or I am in need of answers to some of life's most pressing and burning questions, I always turn to the Bible. The Bible is a wonderful source of wisdom that God has given us to help give direction when we are lost, to guide us when we don't know where to turn and help bring us closer to God. And it is through the bible that I know that God has a divine purpose for us all; our purpose as children of God is to fulfill God's Will. The bible tells us Stef that God created man in his own image. Eve was created from the rib he had taken from Adam and therefore man and woman will forever be part of one another. They are both created from the same flesh. Man and woman are the vision God has for the future of this earth, and the continued survival of mankind. Who are we to change what God has divinely created. Who are we, mere mortals, to question his divine wisdom? Who are we to disregard God's purpose for the vision he has? When people choose these alternatively life styles they are going against everything that God has decreed to be his vision for mankind."

Stef closed her eyes, clasped her hands together and dug her nails into her skin draining all the blood from their vessels leaving nothing but white flesh, as she braced herself for what was to come. Her knees continued to bounce in terror as she desperately tried to contain her emotions and ease the excruciating pain and humiliation she felt as she listened to her Pastor talk to her about her sin.

"It was and never has been God's Will for a woman to lie with another woman. Stef it may feel as though you cannot control these urges, but I implore you to submit yourself to God, if you submit yourself to God's Will he will give you the strength to overcome your sinful desires. Is this something you think you can do Stef?"

Stef couldn't contain the tears any longer; they fell from her eyes and ran over her cheeks down the side of her nose and over her lips. Dripping from her face and hitting the carpet they quickly disappeared as though they had never even existed at all. Stef didn't respond to the questions, she just sat there her heart racing and her throat choked shut.

Pastor John leaned over and placed his hand gently on Stef's back "You are not alone in this Stef, if you commit yourself, we will be here to help you work through this, all of us in the church will help you find your way back to God. We all lose our way, and the Devil will test us and lure us towards all kinds of evil, but he can never succeed if we don't allow him to. You just have to have faith in God and know that the love he has for all his children, even those who sin, is great. He has the power to defeat the evil wills of the Devil who would lead us into temptation. God is love Stef; he has the capacity to forgive us from our greatest sins. Do not let the Devil lead you down this path of condemnation and traitorous damnation; you can choose to stand with God, choose to do what is right."

The silence that had fallen on the room was interrupted by Stef sniffing in a desperate attempt to hold in the mucus running from her nose. Stef felt the weight of a thousand elephants sit on her chest, suffocating the life out of her. A horrible feeling of disgusted worked its way through Stef's body threatening the contents of her stomach. She silently prayed for this moment to be over, anything to put an end to all of this. In that moment Stef made a deal with God, she would never allow herself to even think of another woman ever again, she would never allow herself to get close to another woman again if he would just put an end to this torturous moment.

"Stef; let us pray." Pastor John placed his left hand on the crown of Stef's head and raised his right hand into the air. "Lord, Jesus Christ our Saviour, we ask you today to bless this child and give her the strength and courage she needs to overcome her dark desires. Lord in the name of Jesus Christ our Saviour we ask you to heal this broken soul, heal her soul and lead her back towards the path of righteousness. Guide her towards your light, and deliver her from the Evil that pulls her towards darkness. In Jesus' name Lord we ask you to forgive Stef, forgive her for her sins as you have forgiven all of your children for theirs. Take this child into your heart and open her soul so that she may live in the truth, the true word of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. We thank you Dear Lord for the blessings you bestow on us and we bow before you in humility as your servants on this earth, spreading your word and living in your divine wisdom. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. Amen."

Pastor John removed his hand from Stef's head and wrapped both hands over Stef's. "I hope to see you again on Sunday." He released Stef's hand from his grasp. "Go with God Stef."

Stef slowly stood from her chair and walked towards the door; as soon as she closed the door behind her, and as if they possessed a life of their own, her feet carried her, pounding against the hard floors of the chapel corridors, she ran for her life. Shame, self loathing, embarrassment and fear swirled like a crazed monster behind her, threatening to eat her alive. She held her emotions as she ran through the echo filled halls of the church towards the exit and as soon as she reached the outside she let out a deep gasp of air that filled her lungs with the oxygen she needed to convulse into deep gut wrenching sobs that made it hard for her to breathe.

The loud beeping sound turned Stef's head sharply, snapping her back from her self induced hypnotic state. She picked up the phone and looked at the message, her heart skipped and fluttered in the same moment, then very quickly sunk to the pit of her stomach. She ran her hand through her hair as she read what was in front of her. Stef put the phone down, got up and made her way into the bathroom and ran the shower.

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 _A/N: Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this story, an even bigger thank you to everyone that has taken the time to post a review. I read every review, take your notes and am encouraged by your support. Thank you._


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